


You Miss 100% of the Shots You Don't Take

by Siderial



Category: Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha | Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha
Genre: Angst, F/F, High School, Introspection, Pining, non-canon timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:41:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29024409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siderial/pseuds/Siderial
Summary: Unfortunately, not everyone takes the news of Hayate and Fate getting together well.
Relationships: Fate Testarossa Harlaown/Takamachi Nanoha, Fate Testarossa Harlaown/Yagami Hayate
Kudos: 11





	You Miss 100% of the Shots You Don't Take

**Author's Note:**

  * For [VnixxiR](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=VnixxiR).



** February 6, 0075**

The endless, helpless, lawless expanse of space is made a little less daunting by the existence of the TSAB; that’s what Chrono Harlaown has always told himself. Growing up as the child of two distinguished Naval officers—one who gave his very own life up for the cause—Chrono has never known, or wanted, any other creed. He’s proud of his parents, of his crew, of himself, and of his cause, because there had always been certainty that the TSAB stood for all that was good in an otherwise unforgiving universe.

But now, as the _Arthra_ cruises through friendly skies at approximately ten astronomical units per hour, Chrono finds himself deep in uncharted territory. Piling high on his desk are reports, some strewn about messily, most decorated by an unsightly amount of yellow highlight and red ink. At the other side of his office stands a perhaps cliché but useful tool in his trade: a large corkboard, onto which miscellaneous papers and pictures and coloured strings all diverged and interweaved and converged onto one same subject:

Takamachi Nanoha.

Chrono sighs and takes a gulp of black coffee—his fifth cup that day. He’s running on fumes at this point; he hadn’t shaved since yesterday, his hair is tousled and greasy, Amy had stopped trying to get him to go to sleep hours ago, and he’s quite sure he’s missed the _Arthra_ ’s signature weekly curry lunch. But he can’t put this off any more than he already has. Certain key TSAB officials are getting antsy, itching for the opportunity to undermine everything Chrono and his father and every dedicated TSAB officer worked damn hard for; Chrono could feel the heated pressure of their gazes piercing his back—waiting, hoping for him to trip, to fall, to personally destroy the very things that he held dear.

Everything on that damn cork board made no sense, but only because Chrono doesn’t _want_ it to make sense. He wants it gone, gone _yesterday_ ; burnt, eviscerated, blinked out of existence, if only to save everyone around him from the anguish that it will cause. But he can’t deny—won’t deny—the facts. His career, his life, his entire way of being, has been up to this point dependent on following the truth.

And here, with the pieces in front of him like a jigsaw only missing its centre-most piece, Chrono must put the final nail in the coffin that would incriminate his dear little sister’s best friend.

Takamachi Nanoha is a murderer. A goddamn fucking _serial_ killer.

It makes no sense. It makes every sense.

It involves Fate, because of course it involves Fate. She’s just as much Nanoha’s rock as she is her goddamn trigger. It involves Nanoha, obviously. And hell, it probably involves Hayate, because god damn these high school girls and their high school hormones and their high school problems. He hadn’t been like this; Amy hadn’t been like this; so why the _fuck?_

Chrono curses: at Nanoha, at Hayate, at the world, at the universe, at the TSAB, at his own damn helplessness. But he doesn’t curse at Fate; never Fate, precious Fate, kind-hearted, unassuming Fate. How can he jeopardise her happiness, knowing how intertwined it was to Nanoha’s well-being?

But how in the hell does he broach the topic that Takamachi Nanoha has completely, irrevocably, gone off the deep end?

He couldn’t get the TSAB involved. It would jeopardise their careers. It would jeopardise their friendship. It would tear their close-knit family apart. His heart told him so. And yet, he knows that the _right_ thing to do—the logical thing to do—would be to make an official report and incriminate one Takamachi Nanoha on at least five counts of extrajudicial killing. His greater conscience, the one that preaches the rulebook and speaks in voices sounding vaguely like his superior officers, tells him so.

For the third time in his life, since Nanoha, since Hayate, since Fate herself, Chrono Harlaown does not listen to it.

* * *

** March 21, 0072  
**

How is she supposed to deal with this? Fate thinks. Her mind is still left reeling from the events of today, of after school, when Hayate had called her to the largest tree behind the school.

 _"I love you_. _”_

I love you, Hayate had said. Not like, but love. Romantically, she had clarified when Fate had tried to brush it off. And then Hayate had dropped another bomb: that she knew Fate had feelings for Nanoha, and that she would wait anyway; that she loved Fate enough to try.

How is Fate supposed to respond to something as heartfelt as that? So, she didn’t; not really, anyway.

_“I… can’t right now, Hayate. I’m so sorry, I love you but…”_

_“Not like that, right? But do you think you_ could? _”_

Could she? Can she? Fate admits that she had never thought about it. Certainly, Hayate is pretty—beautiful even, since entering high school. But… love? Dating? She had only ever thought of…

_“Nanoha—”_

_“If you both decide to go out with each other, I’ll back down. I love her too, y’know? As a friend, that is. But if neither of you are going to act, I want you to at least be aware that there are other options._ Serious _options. So just think about it, okay? I don’t need an answer today.”_

“Fate-chan?”

Fate snaps out of her reverie. A quick look around at the yellow walls around her reminds her where she is. “Nanoha…”

Nanoha gives her a look of concern. “Are you feeling okay Fate-chan? You don’t look well.”

“I…” Should she say anything? She should, right? Nanoha is her best friend; her everything. They promised each other to be honest with one another—why shouldn’t she be honest about something as big as this? “Hayate confessed to me today.”

Fate immediately regrets her choice when she sees Nanoha freeze. “I, uh…”

“Nyahaha~ I was wondering when she would say it.”

Fate couldn’t hide the shock that crosses her face. “What?”

“Hayate-chan told me about her feelings for you about a month ago,” Nanoha admits. “I’m sorry I kept it from you, but Hayate-chan wanted to tell you herself.”

“She…”

“So, what did you say?” Nanoha prompts with a smile. Fate knows she’s dense, but she isn’t ignorant enough to miss the _something_ in Nanoha’s eyes. “I hope you didn’t leave her hanging, Fate-chan.”

“I…”

The smile slides off Nanoha’s face. “Wait. You actually left Hayate-chan hanging? Fate-chan!”

“No! I told her I couldn’t reciprocate,” Fate says, “because I like someone else.”

“I think Hayate-chan’s probably the better option,”

“You don’t even know who it is, Nanoha…”

“Well, you and Hayate-chan grew up together after all! Who can be a better choice than that, nyahaha.”

“You…”

“Hm?”

“You wouldn’t feel anything if I dated Hayate?”

“Well, I’d be happy for the both of you? I love you both, and I want you to be happy.”

“And you don’t think anyone else could make me happy?” Like yourself, Fate thinks.

“I think Hayate-chan is one of the best options for you,” Nanoha maintains. She plasters on that… smile again, and Fate feels her heart ache. “She’s smart, she’s pretty, she cooks well, well she’s a bit of a tease but—”

The words fade into a meaningless buzz at the back of Fate’s mind.

This is how their last night alone together in Nanoha’s room ends.

* * *

** December 15, 0072 **

For the first time in a while, Nanoha finds herself in the company of all four of her closest friends outside of school. Today, they’re at Arisa’s house, decompressing after the end of their midterm exams.

“So, then _I_ said—” Nanoha tunes Arisa’s loud voice out, having been there for the confrontation between Arisa and the teacher that Arisa had felt wronged her (he did). Instead, she focuses on the sight before her: Fate and Hayate on the loveseat together, listening attentively to Arisa go on about ‘teaching him something for once’. She watches them laugh, doesn’t miss the way Fate leans into Hayate, or how Hayate’s hand naturally finds itself on top of Fate’s.

“Anyway, I gathered you all here today for a special announcement!” “You are all cordially invited to the Bunnings’ Annual Christmas party!”

“I don’t know why you keep doing this Arisa, we’re there every year,” Nanoha deadpans goodnaturedly. Suzuka laughs, and Nanoha feels pride swell up in her chest at landing the joke, but it quickly deflates when she sees Fate and Hayate don’t join in on the giggles. In fact, they look decidedly uncomfortable about the topic.

Fate breaks first. “Actually…”

“We can’t make it,” Hayate finishes decisively for her.

“Is something the matter?” Suzuka asks and looks to Nanoha for clarification. “TSAB matters?”

“No…” Nanoha says as she feels her heart grow heavy. She thinks she knows what’s coming; has been trying to prepare herself for the past few months, but when it hits—

“Hayate and I are dating.”

—it takes Nanoha everything in her power not to run.

When Suzuka and Arisa recover enough to congratulate them, Nanoha makes eye contact with Fate and Hayate. There’s a tense moment of silence, she thinks, and she knows she’s the cause, so she—

“Nyahaha~ I guess it’s just us three then, huh?”

—hides the pain.

* * *

** December 25, 0072 **

Hayate-chan and Fate-chan should be out on their date right about now, Nanoha thinks to herself. Her body automatically ducks, weaves and dives out of the barrage of enemy fire she’s currently facing on the front lines of non-administered world #91.

A terrorist group was discovered to be hiding within the ruins of the former capital of non-administered world #91, and a non-urgent call to available TSAB agents was put out. Of course, Fate and Hayate had been all but ready to drop their commitments in favour of storming the capital, but Nanoha—with the help of Vita—was able to convince them that they would be all the extra manpower the TSAB needed from amongst their group.

Nanoha doesn’t like how much easier it’s been getting to lie to them.

“Oi, Nanoha! Focus!” Vita calls out, and with a smooth swing, parries an incoming photon bullet. “You’re not the enemy, so don’t make me have to hit you with Eisen!”

“Nyahaha~ Whoops, thanks Vita-chan, and Eisen.”

_“Jawohl!”_

Raising Heart blinks. _“My Master, would you like me to initialise the automated combat system? I believe I would be able to handle this much.”_

“No, it’s okay Raising Heart, I can handle this.”

“Of course you can!” Vita replies haughtily. “So get your head in the game and let’s do this thing!”

* * *

** December 26, 0072 **

It had been a mistake to let Nanoha out on the field when she knew what kind of headspace she was in, Vita thinks. She had had to call Hayate to inform her that the both of them wouldn’t be home, made up some lie about sightseeing and spending Christmas in Midchilda.

Nanoha had broken someone’s linker core. Damaged it beyond repair, the medics had said when the dust had settled and they were taking the terrorist front into custody.

Vita had tried to convince Nanoha that she hadn’t done it—that it could’ve been someone else’s fault. But Nanoha remembers her fights; remembers the faces she crosses, out of some strange, misguided sense of responsibility. Nanoha remembers him, the twenty-something-year-old screaming about freedom, remembers blasting him with an Axel Shooter that might have just been a tad too strong because an intrusive thought about Fate had crossed her mind.

Vita sighs and combs her hand through Nanoha’s limp, dusty hair. Neither of them had taken a shower after leaving the battlefield; Nanoha had dissolved into what had been an hour-long panic attack as Vita tried to calm her down.

It isn’t your fault, Vita had kept repeating, trying to push as much _conviction_ as she could into her voice. It isn’t your fault. They’re the bad guys. They knew what they were signing up for. It isn’t your fault.

It’s just my fault.

And Vita knows Hayate would be disappointed in her for thinking that way; about herself, about this terrible situation. But Vita can’t help it; she should’ve _known_. She and Nanoha, they’ve been here before. When Nanoha had been just eleven, and she had pushed herself too hard, too fast, and burnt out in a blaze of glory.

Vita bites her lip hard enough to draw blood.

It’s just my fault, Vita thinks, and adds this to the growing list of her bloody mistakes.

* * *

** November 19, 0073 **

Today marks Fate and Hayate’s first year anniversary together as a couple, and Vita wishes she could be happy for them. Instead, she’s left with a sick feeling in her stomach, because here they are, Vita and Nanoha, out on the field again, Nanoha having been too stubborn to leave and Vita having been so worried she stayed.

And Vita realises that it’s happening again, trying but failing to keep her anxiety in check. Nanoha is gone, them having been separated during a messy dogfight, and Vita is left frantically searching for what she hopes isn’t going to be the broken, shattered, bloodied mess of her best friend.

Because that’s what Nanoha is to Vita. If Hayate and the Wolkenritter are family, then Nanoha is her ‘bestie’. And some best friend Vita is, because she can’t even do the simplest thing like _keep her fucking alive_.

Vita chokes back a sob. This is no time to cry, she berates herself. She needs to find Nanoha, and then, and then—

—she spots Nanoha’s figure in the distance, slumped to the ground.

“NANOHA!”

When Vita reaches her, she finds Nanoha awake, but motionless.

“Nanoha!” Vita cries, shaking her by her shoulders. She gives her a quick once over with her basic knowledge of medical magic and finds, other than a few light wounds and a severe case of mana exhaustion, Nanoha is fine. “Are you okay?”

“I killed him.”

“What?” Vita says and looks around. She finds no dead body. “What are you talking about?”

Nanoha laughs—a laugh so broken, so haunting that Vita shudders to even think about it. “I killed him. I panicked, and I used Starlight Breaker, and he…”

“... He?...”

“He…” Nanoha chokes on her tears.

 _“The Starlight Breaker unfortunately overpowered his barrier jacket, and there is nothing left of the assailant,”_ Raising Heart says.

That can’t be right, is Vita’s first thought. But then she remembers that their suspect was infamous for prioritising offense, to finish his battles quick and dirty—completely unlike the long, drawn-out battle that Nanoha was best suited for; that she had managed to draw out.

Vita swallows thickly. “Nanoha…”

That same hollow laugh again, tailended by a sob. “I’m a murderer, Vita-chan…”

“No, you’re not,” Vita insists firmly. “You’re not a murderer. You did what you had to to survive.”

“I took a _life_ , Vita-chan,” Nanoha bemoans. “I killed him, and—”

“I don’t care! You’re alive, and that’s all that matters!” Vita interrupts loudly. “Me and the Wolkenritter, we’ve killed countless people! We’re not proud of it! We’ve slaughtered families, villages, whole communities to get the mana necessary for our master! Compared to us, you’re as innocent as they come! As clean as a whistle!”

The tears choke up Vita’s growl. She grabs Nanoha’s dirty hands with her own smaller, rougher ones. “These are the hands of a born and bred killer! Not yours! So, so—!”

Vita feels Nanoha squeeze her hands. “That’s enough, Vita-chan,” Nanoha says softly. “I won’t let you talk about yourself like that.”

“But you… you stupid idiot…”

“I know. I know I am.” As Vita slumps to the ground and begins to wail, Nanoha gathers her up in her arms. They cry together.

“I’m sorry, Vita-chan.”

* * *

** July 17, 0074**

As the days pass and as the missions grow bloodier, Nanoha learns to be more apathetic towards her kills. They’re almost cathartic in some way, Nanoha thinks, because this is the one time she truly lets herself be free; she feels freely, thinks freely, acts freely.

She’s alone today because she doesn’t want Vita to worry any more than she already has been. Nanoha knows how much of a toll the past year has taken on Vita, and she wants to minimise her friend’s suffering as much as possible. Nanoha knows that if Vita finds out, she’d be disappointed in her—which is worse than if Vita would be upset—but Nanoha can’t take the risk of not going out onto the field this month.

This month has been a busy one, despite the summer vacation. Nanoha has been largely occupying herself with helping around the shop, so she hasn’t seen hair nor hide of her friends. She knows, however, from Hayate’s Instagram feed, that Hayate and Fate have been going out more often recently. She sees the fun they’re having with each other, without her, and the genuine love in Fate’s eye.

And she breaks.

“Mercy!”

It’s for the best anyway, Nanoha decides. This way, everyone can be happy, and Vita can’t be called complicit in her crimes. Nanoha even gets to work off her stress, and she thinks she’s finally fooled herself to genuinely believe that she’s doing good for the universe, being able to remove scum like this without anyone else being hurt along the way.

“For the love of God, mercy! Please!”

“I don’t think you’re one to talk,” Nanoha breezily says, pointing her staff at the snivelling figure splayed on the floor. Fifteen counts of child trafficking, three counts of murder, two counts of rape, and one count of assault on a TSAB officer. Surely what good was there in allowing a man like him to live?

“This isn’t how the damn TSAB works, don’t fuck with me! What happened to peace?! You’re just going to murder me out of cold blood?! You fucking demon! Bitch in white coat!” 

Nanoha smiles bitterly. “It’s the White Devil, actually,” she says, then fires. 

* * *

** February 14, 0075**

Nanoha is surprised when she’s called to the Yagami house. On Valentine’s Day? Of all days? It makes no sense.

She had only just gotten home and was about to change out of her school uniform when she got the call to go over. Nanoha had decided against changing, seeing that there was no occasion that would justify prettying herself up, and had headed out with her tie loosened, her sleeves rolled up, and just her winter jacket thrown haphazardly over her shoulders.

She certainly did not expect for her coat to be politely taken by Vita, and to be left in the living room alone with Fate and Hayate, both of whom look some measure of disbelieving and hurt.

“Shouldn’t you two be out on a date? It’s Valentine’s Day, after all, nyahaha,” Nanoha begins, unable to stand the awkward silence.

“Nanoha…” Fate says, but is unable to get anything else out. Those sad but beautiful eyes will be the death of her, Nanoha muses.

In stark contrast to Fate, Hayate’s eyes are hardened. “We know what you did. What you’ve been doing.”

“And what have I been doing? Hayate-chan,” Nanoha says, feigning innocence even though inwardly, she feels the almost irrepressible urge to flee.

“Extrajudicial killings, Nanoha? Really?”

“They were murderers themselves,” Nanoha justifies, and the excuse sounds hollow to even her own ears.

“You can’t be the judge, jury, and executioner Nanoha! That’s not how our jobs work!” Hayate exclaims.

Nanoha feels something snap inside her. “What do you know about our jobs?!” she spits. “You and Fate-chan have been spending more time on dates than on missions!”

Silence.

“So that’s what this is about?” Hayate says disbelievingly.

Nanoha wishes she could put all her jumbled thoughts into words. She wishes she could say, yes, no, maybe, I don’t know, I’m sorry, but all that comes out from her lips is, “Just arrest me already. That’s what you’re both here for, right?”

“No!” Fate interjects fiercely, the volume and tone making both Hayate and Nanoha jump. “Why would you think that?! We both love you—”

“But you _don’t_ love me!” Nanoha cries out. “Not the way I wanted you to.”

It feels like Fate is looking at her pityingly, and Nanoha can’t stand that. Her stomach churns, and she purses her lips in a concerted effort not to puke right there and then.

“Nanoha… Of course I did. I loved you. I’ll always love you,” Fate says, but Nanoha knows better than that. Knows that this isn’t her happy, fairy-tale ending.

“Not after this,” she replies softly.

Hayate rears up. “That’s—”

“Hayate, do you mind?” Fate gently interjects. “I want to talk to Nanoha. … No, I _need_ to talk to Nanoha.”

Nanoha sees them exchange a look—thinks that that’s how _she and Fate_ used to communicate, and aches wistfully for those sepia-toned days gone by—and then watches as Hayate backs down.

“Nanoha,” Fate says, with enough power in her voice to command a room.

Fate never needs that power with Nanoha, however; one word and she’d rush to her side. “Fate-chan…”

“You’re right, I don’t know if I love you romantically anymore,” Fate admits. Nanoha knows—knows, but still hurts. She stifles a wounded cry and makes to speak, but Fate holds up a hand.

“But I do know that I love you, wholeheartedly and unconditionally, as you are,” Fate continues earnestly. “I love you, because you’re Nanoha: you’re my first friend, my _best_ friend, my hero, my confidante, and my everything. You were the one who saved me. From Precia. From myself. You’re the one who _believes_ in me. You’re the person who made the bad days seem not so bad, and the great days seem even greater. You complete me, Nanoha. You always have, and you always will.”

The heartfelt admission is almost enough to send Nanoha into tears. “But you have Hayate-chan now.”

“I do,” Fate agrees, and drives the knife deeper into Nanoha’s chest. “But that doesn’t mean that you can’t have both of us.”

“Uhhh, I don’t think that means what you think it means honey,” Hayate says, and suddenly the mood in the room shifts. From what was tense and bordering on foreboding becomes almost joyful— _comical—_ as Fate’s face violently colours.

For the first time in what feels like a long time, Nanoha laughs; genuinely, honestly, happily.

“T-that’s not what I meant! Well, I mean, if Nanoha’s interested, and Hayate’s interested, and I just—”

Hayate rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “Don’t worry you dunce, I get it.” Does she, though? Nanoha wonders. She doesn’t have an opportunity to ask, however, as Hayate turns to address her directly.

Nanoha hesitates. “Hayate-chan?” She flinches when Hayate walks up to her, fullying expecting to be slapped. Instead, Nanoha finds her face being cupped by gentle, worn hands.

Hayate carefully wipes Nanoha’s tears away with her thumbs. “I love you. I forgive you.”

And once again, Nanoha breaks.

But at least this time, Fate and Hayate are there to catch her when she falls.

* * *

** February 20, 0075**

Fate’s face is pinched with concern. “Are you sure you want to do this, Nanoha?”

Nanoha flashes her the broadest, most genuine smile she can muster; she finds it’s not so hard nowadays. “Nyahaha, it’s for the best Fate-chan. I’ll be back soon, anyway, so think of it like I’m going away for a little training break!”

“Call us whenever you can,” Hayate adds and presses some homemade cookies into Nanoha’s hands.

Nanoha is touched, and she makes that known when she pulls Hayate into a hug. “I will. Thanks, Hayate-chan.” Pulling back, she looks the other brunette straight in the eye. Blue meets purple. “Take care of Fate-chan for me, will you?”

Hayate smiles back. “You know I will.”

They continue to stare each other down for a few beats, and it’s almost awkward because Fate is shuffling in place to the side, wondering if and when she should jump in. However, the matter is settled for her when Chrono steps forward. “Are you ready, Nanoha?”

Nanoha hums. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Let’s go then,” he says, and escort her into the _Arthra_.

Before the shuttle bay doors can fully close, Nanoha sees and hears Fate rush up as close as she can. “Nanoha! Don’t forget about me! Be sure to call! I’ll miss you! I love you—!”

“Fate-chan…” Nanoha laughs softly, the sound half-muffled by her tears. If only she had said it back then, Nanoha thought, but then corrected herself. If only she had believed her.

Chrono looked at the half-broken brunette with sympathy. As much as he wanted to put a stop to this, Nanoha had asked for this herself, and who were they to deny her request? The very least Chrono could do is get Nanoha the best lawyer he knows; Chrono is confident that his friends and contacts would be able to get Nanoha off with relatively mild indictments, considering her prowess and an otherwise spotless record. However, he also knows that doing so will shake up the foundations of the TSAB as he knows it.

Chrono is willing to take that risk.

“Set destination to Mid,” he commanded. The sound of rockets reverberated through the cabin as the _Arthra_ whirred to life. The crew quickly calibrated their coordinates, and Chrono felt the ship ascend slowly until all he saw out the window was the inky expanse of space.

“Ready for travel, Captain,” Amy said.

“Go.”

And then they were off, gently cruising into the vast unknown. 

**Author's Note:**

> It's all senpai's fault. Vomited this out within the span of 5 hours. My back hurts and having to format sucks.
> 
> Unbeta'd and mostly unedited. Leave comments, criticisms, kudos, if you're feeling like it; feedback is always appreciated. 
> 
> Credits to pixiv artist 聚光灯。for their art, which is what set off this fic. 
> 
> Twitter: @ssiderial


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